January 2006 Archives

Right now, I'm loving three things:

1. My new GHDs - I got these puppies two days ago and only tried them out tonight. Ladies, poker straight hair in 5 minutes flat, using no product. And while they were pretty pricey, mama can't wait until the off-to-work rush tomorrow morning to really test these puppies out.

2. Contac - 12-hour slow release paracetemol. I live on these when I am ill. I am currently ill. Ill = Contac. Contac time!

3. My new fragrance - Chanel Chance. On a random bar night a random Aussie girl let me try some of her stash, and I went out and grabbed myself a little bottle of my own a few weeks ago. Soft, floral, floaty, sweet; I love it.

Speaking of which, what is your fragrance of choice? I think it says a lot about you. If I haven't sniffed your particular one, I'll keep an eye out the next time I'm in Boots (y'know, to stock up on, uh, Contac and stuff) and will think of you...

Cuteness!

I made this little stupid diagram of how I'm connected to the bloggers on my friends list.

(click the image to see it a bit larger)

Of course, there's a direct line drawn between myself and each of the other headers on this blog, with 'friend' on - this would just have been messy to add in, and I would hope that, should you be one of the lucky lucky people mentioned here, you wouldn't need to be told that.

I guess I just found it interesting to graphically represent the ways in which I met the people I link to. I guess in some ways it's not as simple as I've put it - some bloggers who introduced me to others have ceased to blog, other people I met while in the company of not just one blogger... whatevs, anyway, I found it interesting. And Ian needs to change his header (almost February, babe).

Waterstones are, of course, doing what they do best - 3 for 2 on selected books. So when I managed to pick up The Bell Jar, Tortilla Flat and Saturday for a paltry £15.98 today, Nat was a smiley girl.

Back at work, co-worker picks up bag and goes through the books, commenting "Wow, this is pretty highbrow stuff", to which I answer, "Yeah, my boyfriend thinks so too, he reads books like 'THE HOLLOW CHOCOLATE BUNNIES OF THE APOCOLYPSE'."

Co-worker then proceeds to pull said book out of his book-rack.

I, in turn, simultaneously burst into flames while despairing for the future of mankind.

Old archives from my uni days...

Age

I'm currently helping out my dad at their lab by doing some filing - it turns out that my folks can't find five minutes every day to put paper away properly, and so elegantly chuck said paper upon what eventually becomes a very un-elegant pile, leaving me to pick up the pieces (literally) when I get back from uni. I'm not complaining, getting paid for a few hours of paper sorting is great, but I can't help feeling that all of this could be avoided with a little stream-lining. A bit of admin stealth, if you will.

All of the above serves not as an intro to a post about productivity et al, but just to contextualise me looking at my father's hands, really. I have the same hands as my dad, long fingers ('piano fingers', says my mum) long nails, no half-moons except on my thumbs. His hands have always kind of signified him to me, I could probably pick them out on a line-up. But today while he was looking at a piece of paper with no known filing location, I got a chance to look at them, and they've changed.

My dad has *gasp* liver spots, I think. These are so old age! I swear his wrists are fatter, too. Is it just the tan, with some freckles, that makes me think his hands look aged? I don't know, whatever it is, they look like an old man's hands.
We've got, like, the HUGEST thing happening in my family EVER, with Cha so close to delivery. Turns out the baby is even ahead of schedule, so that if born prem he won't be underdeveloped. Eager, eh? And this event will magically transform my parents into - GRANDparents *lightning strike*. I don't think I'm ready for that. I don't think they're even ready. I'm sure my mom is quietly having a nervous breakdown about it.

I don't want them to get old. I remember sitting on Beryl's bed the day before she died - she was in her early 40s. I never want to have to sit on my mom's bed like that, no matter how old she could be when that time comes.

I think that if I was an Arwen, I think I'd give my mom the funky silver Aragorn necklace.

When someone is chundering, they want to be left alone. After a good brushing of the teeth, and once placed in a horizontal position, then attention is welcome.

Maybe no one wants to read my random conversations with people. But I thought I was over that? But we always want to consider our audience. But if it wasn't for these recorded chats there wouldn't be anything new on this blog. I'm sure people have as much ambivalence towards a list of my thoughts as they do towards very very long chats.

I love Nina Simone. I'm always looking for good music, maybe I should jot down some of what I'm addicted to lately, maybe other people are like me in that they'd appreciate that. Okay - right now I'd say the Garden State OST, the Virgin Suicides OST, Nina Simone, Editors, and still Bloc Party. And Hard-Fi, they're just great.

Dancing last night was good. Ian and I had a blast, haven't drunk danced with him like that since absolutely ages ago. Why am I so shy to dance with him when sober? Or was I only like that before the break-up, maybe that's changed since then? Things are going so well with him. I'm so glad we went out last night. Those girls were on the whole quite fun and friendly. Girls can be nice when they want to be.

Things are actually kinda going well for me right now. The job thing is weighing so heavily on my mind. But I'll be home for a bit soon. I need a tan.

My New Year's resolution was to take better care of myself, there I said it! We've been doing okay. Those ham and cheese sandwiches last night weren't very healthy though. But I was drunk. And it wasn't a fatty kebab. So it's okay.

I need to shower. I need to remove all this residual eye-liner. Our room looks like Chernobyl.

A few nights ago I had the pleasure of a loooong chat with Dan. Be warned - this is pretty long. If you get tired, come back later! Next interview is with Vaughan.

aminal says:
I have a new nickname for you
aminal says:
been waiting ages to try out this one
zebra says:
So what is the dealio with this interview-o?
What is my new nickname then?
zebra says:
okay.
zebra says:
I am excited.
aminal says:
you should be
zebra says:
...
aminal says:
ok, interview thing
zebra says:
(holds breath)
aminal says:
i'm going to post this on me blog
aminal says:
hopefully unedited
zebra says:
Cool cool. Does that mean I have to be funny or interesting? Cause I'm good at that.
aminal says:
but if i ask you summing you rather want to leave off, just lemme know and i'll cut it oooot
zebra says:
No, anything. No secrets from you, Nat.
aminal says:
i know you're good at being interesting - funny, not so much
aminal says:
ok, here goes
aminal says:
ya ready
zebra says:
So what is your nickname for me and what is your special question?
zebra says:
Always ready. BORN ready.
aminal says:
okay, LIEUTENANT DAN!
zebra says:
Groan!
aminal says:
ah, not the first then
zebra says:
How about....Daniel-san!
zebra says:
Wax on, wax off.
aminal says:
excellent, japanse-y, me likey
zebra says:
You know what that song "Turning Japanese" is about? Have you ever heard that song? I have a fun fact about it.
aminal says:
i love that song!
zebra says:
Do you know what it's about?!?
aminal says:
no...
zebra says:
PRISON MASTURBATION!!!
zebra says:
Seriously!
aminal says:
WHAT?!?!
zebra says:
I'm not even kidding.
aminal says:
thanks for RUINING THE SONG DAN!!!!
aminal says:
why?
aminal says:
why is it about PRISON WANKING?
zebra says:
If you read the lyrics he says: "No wine no drugs no sex no women no you....everyone around me is a psycho stranger everyone.
zebra says:
"I got your picture, I got your picture, I have it here with me inside of my cell."
zebra says:
and when you wank (as you know) your face screws up....hence....TURNING JAPANESE.
aminal says:
no way
aminal says:
i'm stunned
zebra says:
If you read along with the song it all becomes clear.
aminal says:
mmmm. gross!
zebra says:
And yet: Quite Interesting!
aminal says:
whenever I think of guys 'sorting themselves out' i think of that scene in silence of the lambs where that guy throws his jizz at clarice
zebra says:
Laugh.
aminal says:
minging. she must have been PISSED OFF
aminal says:
'i just did my hair!'
zebra says:
That happens to me every night.
aminal says:
lol
aminal says:
fuck, just that outstretched hand! LOL!!!
aminal says:
grim
aminal says:
ok, i have serious questions here!
aminal says:
ahem
zebra says:
Yes. However...well...I have a lot of Catholic guilt about masturbation, and it was only recently when they discovered it was good for your prostate that I finally came to terms with it.

Sorry...you were saying...what is your question?
aminal says:
okay, hang on
aminal says:
you're catholic?
aminal says:
didn't peg you
zebra says:
I was baptized, yes. Not really practicing.
zebra says:
I did go to midnight mass on Christmas, though.
aminal says:
i've done that, with fam friends
aminal says:
was nice
aminal says:
i didn't know any of the words though
zebra says:
Yeah, I figure it's a tradition. As I said to my brother: "I've done it for the last 27 years, I'll be damned if I stop going now!"
aminal says:
nice, punny!
zebra says:
Er, I didn't mean damned literally, though.
zebra says:
Ho ho!
aminal says:
i heart puns
aminal says:
puns get a bad rap
zebra says:
I told my dad ten puns, hoping one of them would make him laugh, but no pun in ten did.
aminal says:
!loves it!
zebra says:
Nat: You're cool.
aminal says:
you're cool too!
aminal says:
which is why I'm interviewing you
zebra says:
Anyone who hearts puns is cool in my book
aminal says:
so okay, QUESTION 1
zebra says:
Yes.
aminal says:
(officially)
zebra says:
(FINALLY!)
aminal says:
You're going skiing soon
aminal says:
looking forward?
zebra says:
This is true. I am very excited.
zebra says:
Last week skiing was probably the best week of my life.
zebra says:
Like, last year, I mean.
aminal says:
honestly?
zebra says:
Really and truly. I love love LOVE skiing and snow and being outside and going fast and the whole package was just excellent.
aminal says:
nice! and it's your birthday on the 5th, right?
zebra says:
The 6th. Waitangi day.
aminal says:
ah
aminal says:
can i ask?
zebra says:
However my party will be on the 18th and you are invited.
zebra says:
What Waitangi day is?
aminal says:
(yay!)
aminal says:
no
aminal says:
how old you will be
zebra says:
Oh! Right. I will be 29.
aminal says:
good age!
zebra says:
Only one year left before my palm starts to flash and they take me away.
zebra says:
How would you know you young sprocket?!?
aminal says:
it's ROCKIT, thanks
zebra says:
Oh yeah!
zebra says:
You really should ask what Waitangi day is.
aminal says:
and i know because i can imagine it being a CRACKER - you're not 30 yet, last year of your 20s (free reign to just do all the stuff you didn't do - although in your case that's not a lot)
aminal says:
okay, Waitangi?
zebra says:
WELL! Waitangi day is the day New Zealand was formed as a nation. It's kind of like uhm, independance day for the yanks. So my birthday is always on a holiday in NZ and it's ALWAYS sunny.
aminal says:
i like that! always sunny is so bonus
zebra says:
They signed something called the treaty of Wiatangi and it still causes contention to this day because it was very shabbily worded.
zebra says:
There are still a few things left for me to do.
zebra says:
And I still have a few weeks before uhm, I turn 29.
aminal says:
is there anything, off the top of your head, that you want to do?
zebra says:
Well I always wanted to ride in a hot air balloon, and uhm, see the metre.
aminal says:
ok, metre?
zebra says:
It's a bar of metal they keep in Paris that's exactly one metre long. In fact it's the only thing in the universe that is exactly one metre long because, well, it's "the" metre. The original.
zebra says:
Isn't that exciting?
aminal says:
very! it's like THE yardstick. except it's the metre
aminal says:
I'd see that
zebra says:
Yeah, totally. Apparently the queue is not too long. Can't imagine why not.
aminal says:
you should put your arms around it
aminal says:
give it a hug!
zebra says:
"I hugged the metre". I could say
aminal says:
indeed - okay, getting trapped in sub-questions here
zebra says:
Right! Q2. You expected me to say "threesome", didn't you?
aminal says:
okay, another light one: Question 2: What did you think of the finale of season 1 of Lost?
zebra says:
FUCKING TEASES!
aminal says:
hobbitses!
zebra says:
That show is one big tease and I can't BELIEVE I keep falling for it
aminal says:
how 'bout walt
zebra says:
I'll tell you why it gets me down, Nat: Milo Rambaldi.
zebra says:
Do you follow me?
aminal says:
i hear you mate
aminal says:
did that ever resolve?
zebra says:
No! This is what I'm saying. It's the same guy behind Lost. He has no idea where the show is going, just like he had no idea where the Rambaldi thing was going.
zebra says:
However I must say I love Lost and I thought the way they finished the finale (with everyone getting on the plane) was very cool and kind of sweet, as well.
aminal says:
I got over Alias because of rambaldi. It just went NOWHERE.
zebra says:
Actually right now Battlestar Galactica is back on Sky One, and that kicks ten types of crap out of everything else on. I love it.
zebra says:
Yeah Alias kinda went downhill- I hope they have an 'arc' for Lost and they conclude it nicely rather than let it simmer.
zebra says:
What is your theory behind Lost- the finale definitely pushed the 'they're in purgatory' angle pretty hard, but my sister is still convinced they're in like Truman Show-style TV show.
aminal says:
I think my view is coloured by what I've seen of season 2 - do you really want to know?
zebra says:
Er, sure: What's going on?
zebra says:
It actually reminds me a lot of that show The Prisioner, which also had a dude trapped in a really strange place which was never fully explained. Which is a good thing, I should say. I like the way each episode is a little mini-story. It's a clever show.
aminal says:
Well, I won't tell you what happens, but I think both of those theories aren't right. I think it's reality, it's really happening; and all the Locke mysterious stuff, the numbers, all the coincidences, they're all just that: they make up a smart, scary, and strangely sentimental story. I think I want to believe that there really is mysticism in life; I loved Signs for that (despite the religious undertones)
zebra says:
I really liked Signs, but I don't know anyone else who does.
aminal says:
enjoyable to watch, reaffirming
zebra says:
WAY better than War of the Worlds.
aminal says:
yeah, WOTW was a SHOCKER
zebra says:
Although you know I saw King Kong last night, that was a bit flat.
aminal says:
really? it had some really good reviews
zebra says:
I think it takes a lot for a movie to impress me these days.
aminal says:
picky!
zebra says:
Yeah, I mean, Kong wasn't BAD, it just didn't really take me anywhere special.
aminal says:
I would say that what used to pass for art house is now moving into mainstream. Audiences want to think more.
zebra says:
That's a good thing.
aminal says:
Titanic-style movies aren't cutting it anymore. People want to be challenged. It's a VERY good thing.
zebra says:
Although honestly from watching Celebrity Big Brother I would have thought the general public was moving in the opposite direction from 'thinking more'.
aminal says:
I LOVE BIG BROTHER.
aminal says:
but then I read heat.
zebra says:
It's...insane. Words fail me.
aminal says:
I just like the gossip, I think. It's harmless gossip.
zebra says:
I find it a pretty disturbing watch, on a number of levels.
aminal says:
I've heard the arguments, I hear where you're coming from. Journ class went ape when we got Big Brother in South Africa.
aminal says:
It was all ethics, what are we doing, blah
aminal says:
I enjoy it on a surface level - maybe it's crap that I contribute to the mindless audience but I really do love it! Just all the scandal!
zebra says:
Well, y'know, I tihnk humanity will generally go where it's gotta go, and it's my right to find that direction a little repulsive at times.

I know I'm on some pretty well-trodden uh, terrain, but yeah I do find it kind of like watching a car crash- sick but also fascinating.
aminal says:
I know what you mean - I'm not discounting your view and of all people, you're probably likely to give me a POV that I've yet to hear. I'm on BB overload at the moment, actually a bit over this series now.
zebra says:
Speaking of which, how about that Asbo TV thing I posted about today? Pretty interesting trend! We could all be each other's reality shows in a wee while. I'd watch the Nat show, no problem.
aminal says:
Isn't that porn?
zebra says:
That's what I hear!
aminal says:
so tell me now, question 3
zebra says:
I'm ready for it.
aminal says:
it's a biggie, and you can veto
zebra says:
No worries. I'm nothing if not stupidly honest.
aminal says:
Your folks split up sometime last year, right?
zebra says:
Yeah- that was a really horrible time, about this time last year it was all happening. Actually, my dad came to London ah, near the end of 2004, and my mum suspected something was up, so she came as well, and for the first time I noticed this really horrible tension between them, and I spoke to some of my friends about it, and then the next day mum and my sister sat me down and explained they...
zebra says:
...weren't going to be together and then this year has just been a series of ever more shocking revelations abuot the behaivour of my dad, uhm, yeah, it's been a really rough time for my whole family, I mean, in terms of my siblings we have all banded together, but I know that particularly for me and my brothers he was this guy that we aspired to, and now kind of uh, not really hate but ...
zebra says:
... certainly don't aspire to, which has left, well, I don't want to speak for my brothers but it's certainly left me quite rudderless in terms of life direction (which I was having a bad enough time with before!)
zebra says:
How's that for an answer?
aminal says:
You are honest!
aminal says:
I hear you on that part about your dad - is it like, he's now become a fallible person? Human? Too human?
zebra says:
Well ... it's more like ah, he was just a really great person who seemed like he had it all, like, a family and a career that he'd built, and then he just kind of ah ... that obviously didn't make him happy, so now you're like: "Oh! So those things don't make one happy. I kind of thought that was what I was going for. Hmm. Better rethink that. So what does make one happy?" And don't get me wrong..
zebra says:
...as you know I'm a pretty happy guy most of the time, but I guess you have this vision of your parents 'knowing what's what', and it's a little disorienting to have that foundation rocked so hard. And y'know, while I say this, I appreciate that most people have to deal with this shit when they're like kids of teenagers, so I appreciate I'm in a pretty good position to be reflective about it.
aminal says:
Yeah, but no one deserves to have their foundations rocked this way. Was it coming for a while or did it happen pretty quickly?
aminal says:
And hey, I'm sorry if I'm not being understanding but I keep writing things that sound really hollow - I can't hope to really understand how you're feeling.
zebra says:
Er, it's funny really, because most of my friends, like, from the outside, it seemed clear TO THEM that there were these problems in my parents' marriage, going back a long way, but I guess I looked right through them - not seeing them for the last four years probably being a factor in that!
aminal says:
yeah, of course!
zebra says:
So I was like: "You're not gonna believe it! My parents have split up!" and they were like: "Yeah, uhm, duh."
aminal says:
aw
zebra says:
mmm
aminal says:
Have you been home since they split up?
zebra says:
Yes in retrospect it did seem clear, I just figured they had their way of working, and, I mean, it was a total shock to my mum. Like, utter and total. Just destroyed her, for a good long while.

Yeah I went home uhm, each of the kids went home for a bit to kind of look after her. I mean she kind of had a breakdown and we all just did little rotations to take care of her, I went back in May.
zebra says:
I considered moving back for good but she told me not to so, yeah. I miss my niece and nephew a lot.
aminal says:
God, your poor mum.
zebra says:
Yeah, it was some rough times.
aminal says:
She wants you to live your own life though.
zebra says:
Right! Although my oldest brother is pretty funny, he is very keen for me to come back to NZ, and when I was back he sat me down with a whiskey and said: "Y'know, we could have whiskies every Sunday if you came back!"
aminal says:
I bet she is so grateful for your support though honey - how bittersweet that out of a marriage that has hurt her, she's gained you and your siblings.
aminal says:
These kind of massive life changes are so awful if they're enforced upon you - she must be so angry!
zebra says:
Right. Yeah no my mum is strong and I tihnk out of all the people in the world to handle this, she is the best equipped. Like, she was always very independant all through my life so I think, now that she's through the initial shock, she'll be okay. But you know you have this idea of growing old for someone and yeah, obviously a huge shock to discover that won't happen.
aminal says:
I bet this has also rocked your view of romantic relationships BIG time.
zebra says:
Sadly, yes. I mean, er, I'd just taken a pretty enormous blow to my view of romantic relationships ANYWAY, and tihs came pretty much right on the heels of that, so yes my view is, sadly, pretty cynical at present. Which is a pain because I'm a largely uncynical person.
aminal says:
Dan, you're such a catch though.
zebra says:
Aww, thanks Nat! My mum says that, too! I'm bound to get a girl!
aminal says:
I remember I listened to the destruct hour a while back and there was this voicemail message
aminal says:
about this stupid girl who fobbed you off because she wasn't interested in... what was it?
aminal says:
god that was funny
aminal says:
you made this really insightful point and she was uh...
zebra says:
Er, right, right, I told her what I thought was a funny/interesting story from 'The Big Bang', and she just kind of looked at me blankly, and I knew it wouldn't work out. Not that I can't date idiots! I'm not fussy!
zebra says:
I guess my worry is that, if I don't know my OWN DAD, then how well can you know anyone at all? I think we layer illusions on top of the spaces where people are, and they are only tangentally related to how people 'actually' are.
aminal says:
yeah but that's your dad, sweet - even sexually abused kids paint a veneer on their parents. Everyone wants to believe their parents are good people. Because hey - you're a product of them!
aminal says:
People forgive so much, overlook so much, to believe their families and lives are normal
zebra says:
Well yes, and presumably you want to have a good impression of your sexual partner, so you create a story on top of them that may not be true. I mean, who HASN'T had a moment when they've realized their partner wasn't who they thought they were?
aminal says:
No one can ever be who their partners think they are though! If you set an ideal you'll always be let down!
aminal says:
I guess it's a matter of how far you're willing to settle.
aminal says:
Some people will put up with a lot more than others.
aminal says:
I mean, I've had that moment before. Where you're like, did he just say that?
aminal says:
I never thought he would think that way...
zebra says:
Yeah, and I guess I've put up with a lot of crap in the name of love and I see a lot of people I know who do the same and it makes me pretty sad.
aminal says:
People who are pushovers though (willing to put up with really inexcusable stuff, cheating and the like) I almost have no time for.
aminal says:
It's like, you are MISERABLE
aminal says:
You'd be happier alone
zebra says:
Right! This is it exactly. And ... this has happened to a couple who lived with each other for 35 years. What chance do I have of getting to know/trust someone when, y'know, people who've been at it longer than I've been alive can't get the hang of it?
aminal says:
But ok, my folks, married at 22! What do you know about your entire future at 22?
zebra says:
This is what I'm sayin. I have friends my age, hell, younger, having kids and getting married and, I don't know, it feels kind of alien to me.
aminal says:
I agree.
aminal says:
Two close friends of mine have (seperately) got engaged.
aminal says:
My age. Both really smart people, really forward thinking.
aminal says:
I am left speechless by it.
aminal says:
Sure, you congratulate them.
aminal says:
But it's so not something I could do right now.
zebra says:
[Yet at the same time I have this romantic vision of somehow it all working out, finding someone who knows the real me and I know the real them, I just don't know ah, if I can trust in that anymore, that idea that you can depend on someone in that manner, which makes me feel a bit scared/alone.]
aminal says:
But Dan, you are such an amazing person! You're so interesting, so full of life. You see these YOBS who go around, every day, questioning nothing, I mean really, barely past ape stage.
aminal says:
And then contrast that with you, insightful, funny, appreciative of funny shit.
aminal says:
I am so confident that you will meet someone amazing.
aminal says:
You can't say that out of your exes, none have been amazing people.
aminal says:
Like, I look at my exes, and I see some truly awesome people, that I'm so lucky to have got to know on such a personal level.
zebra says:
So yes I guess I am in a pretty cynical mood about love right now, which you probably picked up on whilst reading the nanowrimo thing, but, y'know, I'm pretty upbeat generally, I enjoy dating and meeting new people and, yeah, I'm sure I'm not a hopeless case.
aminal says:
Yeah well, I heard you pulled on New Years, so I'm not too worried.
zebra says:
I do wonder er, like, these yobs you refer to, like, I see them to, and they often, ah, they often seem to do quite well with the old ladies, and er, this is a little embarrassing, but if I ever do want to ah...just as an experiement I went out and acted like a total wanker, like, a PARODY of a wanker, a parody of these guys I can't stand, and, like, it was a ROARING success with the ladies.
zebra says:
Isn't that sad? Like, if you ever pick up one of these books on how to Score (The Game, etc), that's pretty much the golden rule: Be a big jerk.
aminal says:
What was one of your tactics?
zebra says:
And I hate to say it, but yeah, I mean, this sounds misogynistic, doesn't it? And I don't mean it like that, I mean, I'm just reporting back my experience, here, I'm not trying to interpret it.
aminal says:
A lot of guys say that though
aminal says:
Seriously, what did you do to act like a dick?
zebra says:
I just kind of, uh, I like, thought of some guy I know who is a jerk and then acted out an over-the-top version of him, almost like a safety barrier, like: "I'm not this guy so it doesn't matter if he fails." Treat it like a role in a play, y'know? And it was this roaring success, which kind of depressed me a little, because...I'm not like that at all!
zebra says:
And I wouldn't want a person who would respond to that kind of behaviour, if you follow me.
zebra says:
Now. Question FOUR! Are you going to help out with the cover of The Trusted Professions?
aminal says:
excuse me
aminal says:
i ask the questions here MATE
aminal says:
I will help any way I can!
zebra says:
Great! Suggestions for cover?
aminal says:
i thought you were getting a pic of a gal for the cover?
aminal says:
(which honestly, seemed a little obvious to me?)
aminal says:
although if i hadn't read the story...
zebra says:
Yeah, I had the PERFECT PERSON, Helen, like, everything you'd imagine Max to be, she was, but as it turned out she was camera shy so it didn't work out.
zebra says:
What would you suggest?
aminal says:
no! no way of convincing her? ie, rewarding her with jewellery/in kind/alton towers tickets?
zebra says:
I guess I was thinking what kind of cover appeals to me personally, like what catches my eye when I am in a store, and, dodgy as it is to say it, it's probably necks, so I had the idea of a neck on the cover. I dunno. Can't explain!
zebra says:
I've a thing about necks!
aminal says:
you should see Memoirs of a Geisha then!
zebra says:
I'm going to avoid it because I like the book and don't want my own little story busted.
zebra says:
as movies tend to do.
aminal says:
well, Question 4 is actually a two-part
aminal says:
getting intricate huh!
aminal says:
(proud)
zebra says:
Really? 4.1 and 4.2 huh?
aminal says:
yeah! yeah!
zebra says:
Very good.
aminal says:
okay, 4.1 is actually a bunch of little ones too
zebra says:
Bring it!
aminal says:
4.1 I hear we're getting a Trusted Professions audiobook? Who recorded it, ie who's the voice? When will we get it?
zebra says:
Yeah, I'm really excited about the idea. It's going to be read by two friends of mine, Bradley and Helena, who will play Dalent and McKinley respectively. They're both trained actors, and Bradley has a VERY British voice so I can finally put to rest all those naysayers who thinks Dalent sounds American.
zebra says:
Helena is an absolute doll who you really should meet because she also has that quality we were speaking of earlier- just a really nice soul.
aminal says:
yeah?
zebra says:
Well actually lots of folks mentioned the American thing, especially in the earlier chapters, but Bradley says he can hear the voice really well in his head so I'm really looking forward to producing it- we're having our first meeting on Feb 11.
aminal says:
nice one - I'm so keen to hear it!
zebra says:
I listen to a lot of audiobooks at the gym so it's a format I am quite into, and the book obviously has a structure that suits it, being a transcript of a recording itself, so I think it's quite fitting. Helena thinks I should rewrite it as an actual radio play, but I'm happy with what it is. My flatmate works for Radio One so he may have a few contacts I can pitch it to at the Beeb as a radioplay.
aminal says:
wow!
zebra says:
But I really want to finish the second draft and get the cover done so I can get it to the printer.
zebra says:
4.2?
aminal says:
yup
zebra says:
k
aminal says:
pretty lame-o
zebra says:
been fun so far
aminal says:
when do we get the next destruct hour
zebra says:
ah ha! Actually I have the next TWO lined up, songwise, I just haven't had time to sit down with Rob to record it. I think we're getting together on Wednesday- we might have Benjamin in as a special guest, so...maybe next week? Possibly Friday?
zebra says:
to be honest I'm considering shutting znaddanz.com down.
aminal says:
WHAT.
aminal says:
no
zebra says:
well as you've seen I haven't been posting a lot recently.
aminal says:
yeah, but dan, you're busy right?
aminal says:
i mean, things aren't that bad?
aminal says:
is it...
aminal says:
do have another site?
aminal says:
*sniff*
aminal says:
*wide eyed, expecting*
zebra says:
`Yeah...I guess I'm just very wary of getting trapped in the online world, defined by it? I'm sure all bloggers experience such self-doubt. It was always meant to be a year-long experiment, and that year will come to an end on Feb 6.
aminal says:
really? oh, ok.
aminal says:
I shut down mine too
zebra says:
did ya?
aminal says:
you'll come crawling back
aminal says:
oh yes
zebra says:
Er, when?
aminal says:
oh, ages ago
aminal says:
still have old files from my last blog
aminal says:
maybe I should repost them, for fun
zebra says:
You should! At least in the archives.
zebra says:
I guess a lot of the blogosphere uh, like, I feel like a lot of it is a lot of old pants, and I say: "Gee I bet people are reading my site thinking exactly the same thing." and it gets me down.
zebra says:
Not that I'd ever post this! I can't stand meta-blogging. The amount of bloggers who won't shut up about what blogging is.
aminal says:
no, i like your blog!
aminal says:
omg, i so meta-blog ALL the frikkin time
aminal says:
and your reviews are cool
zebra says:
Yeah- I guess the blog was a good way to sort of PUSH me towards doing stuff like nanowrimo and the destructhour but, as with many things, I feel an odd sort of futility around it.

Oh even if I keep the site up the reviews are definitely coming to an end!
aminal says:
why?
zebra says:
They're banal!
aminal says:
omg, shut up
aminal says:
you put the lude in deluded mate
zebra says:
Unfortunately I'm an English teacher and I know whereof I speak. I'd give them a D and ask for a repeat.
zebra says:
See, I like CONTENTED blogs. Blogs with function. I tihnk that's what I need, to give znaddanz.com a sort of...direction. I'm hoping to hook up with Londonist and maybe making a videocast for them, that'd excite me more than y'know, "Oh today I read this book. It was shite. Repeat."
aminal says:
everyone has that kind of 'what the hell am i even saying' moment
aminal says:
but hey - you've made a cool site, with cool stuff. if anything, i would say you should get more personal.
aminal says:
but my blog is only personal, which bugs me
aminal says:
so everyone has their little hangup
zebra says:
That's how I try to write, uh, that's what znaddanz.com was meant to be, like, it seemed to me that everytime I saw my friends at the pub on Friday night I'd have this amusing story from my week to tell them, so I thought it would be fun to try and write them down
zebra says:
(plus I had Adrian bugging me to become a blogger)
aminal says:
i just hate that it's such a bad word
aminal says:
like at the gig, everyone was like, rolling their eyes
zebra says:
laugh! Yeah.
zebra says:
But you are a great poster girl for blogging, since you're so obviously NOT uncool.
aminal says:
yeah right! at least the geeky girls can effing OPERATE a blog. I'm like, hit publish.
aminal says:
I'd love to know what the male/female blog ratio is
aminal says:
massively female, surely
zebra says:
Yeah. I think....for a large section of society...I mean I know the media is raving about blogs being the new form of media, but they're still a VERY thin sliver of society. Most people don't know what they are, and when you explain what they are, they don't understand why you'd bother.
zebra says:
You're living on planet crazy. I'd say 2:1 in favour of guys. 3:1, even.
aminal says:
what? YOU'RE the loon dude - chicks loooooove talking about themselves
aminal says:
like, myspace
zebra says:
And there's all these huge stats of blogs, like, how we create 20,000 a day....but most of them are virtually contentless.

Chicks love talking about themselves ON THE PHONE!
aminal says:
yes
zebra says:
Myspace is....gross.
aminal says:
yes they do
zebra says:
don't I know it!
zebra says:
You're doing it right now, aren't you?!?
aminal says:
oh geez!
aminal says:
no, right now I'm sitting talking to you
zebra says:
aww. can't you multitask?
aminal says:
well my friend, it's been fun
zebra says:
Yeah, too much fun.
aminal says:
but it was good fun, it's nice also to have like questions on hand - most msn chats are sooo arbitrary!
zebra says:
Still, two people talking- that's all The Trusted Professions was.

Some of the best loved classics are dialogues. Like....Dialogues, by Socrates!
aminal says:
was'nt he made up?
aminal says:
or was that plato
zebra says:
Well, Plato was the MADE UP name of Aristocles, but he was a real guy. They called him that because he had broad shoulders, like a plain (ie...Plato!)
aminal says:
lol, plateau
zebra says:
But Plato and Scorates were definitely both real.
zebra says:
Exactly!
aminal says:
okay, so we started on nicknames
aminal says:
tell me one of the best ones you've had?
zebra says:
You really can't beat destructor, I mean, once it came out, it just STUCK, y'know? Because really, I just destroy so much around me, it makes me laugh so much whenever I smash something, someone always yells: "DESTRUCTOOOOOR!" and, yeah, it's perfect. It's me.
aminal says:
It is a cool name!
zebra says:
I'm blessed.
aminal says:
okay dan, I'm off now. Thanks so so much for giving me this evening, I feel like I know a lot more about you
zebra says:
Anytime. It was fun.
zebra says:
Night night, eNRGiZA!
aminal says:
ok. bye!
zebra says:
ciao bella.

After a late-ish night, thanks to chatting on MSN and catching the end of Autopsy Live (only on Channel 4, I love Channel 4), I awoke this morning and dragged my half-asleep ass to the bathroom, and the light bulb promptly blew. I then showered in the dark, had a momentary panic that I’d used my face wash as shampoo, and managed to whack my shin on the side of the bathtub, instant bruise.

So today started off well then! Well, it is my last day at this in-between job, so I allowed myself a little kip on the bus this morning (much to the dismay of the perfectly turned out girl sitting next to me). I’m looking forward to having a 5-day weekend, and have promised myself a little Oxford Street shopping trip during this time to interrupt the work, Tesco, home, work routine that has devoured my weekdays.

The reason for the late-ish MSN’ing is that I’ve decided to do something, anything, different for this blog. I’m doing chat interviews of interesting people, people who are linked off this blog and who are friends of mine. The idea (weak as it may be) is that there are aspects to the lives of my friends that I haven’t really had a chance to talk to them about. I was doing a little diagram setting out how I know each of the bloggers I link to in my friends list, and realised that there are some very separate and distinct groups of people there. So, the first blogger I interviewed was Dan. If you know him, here’s a chance to find out some things you may not have known. If you don’t know him, welcome to Dan – I am going to finish editing the chat tonight and will post it straight away.

I have plans for more interviews, another one this week, and if you are interested, maybe I’ll even work my way down my entire friends list here. This is not exclusive by any means. I am interested in your point of view, because let’s face it – you’ve got to be pretty damn amazing to be coming over to rockit every day.

Okay, here’s another idea – I will put up the name of the next blogger to be interviewed and you can email me a question for them if you like. I will select one reader question for each interview, and will keep it anonymous if asked to. It’s uh, obviously too late for me to do this with Dan, so the next victim is Vaughan; if you have any questions for him, drop me a line.

This morning, after once again losing the battle to the dark side (employment) and having to get out of bed and dress for work…

Ian: You look like that actress.
Me: Which one?
Ian: I dunno.

I’m hoping that Shelley Winters, Meryl Streep and Jessica Tandy’s names are not to the fore in my sweet boyf’s mind today – hoping for something more along the lines of Selma Blair, Audrey Hepburn (I dyed my hair dark brown again last night).

Last night, my Lau-lee-lau came over and we attempted a podcast of sorts. After about 40 minutes of mildly wine-fuelled conversation, I didn’t save the audio files, and ye old Dell-icious laptop couldn’t handle the strain. So much for that idea then.

Dumb lack of Ctrl-S aside, there should be some new things coming to the rockit soon.

Note to self: boyfriend is lovely. Must appropriately display affection for this man, and ensure that goodbye kiss in mornings never becomes perfunctory.

Memoirs was lovely. An excellent portrayal of the evil Hatsumomo I thought (I love saying that name… really fast and in evil whispery tones HATSUMOMO!)

May your week be filled with cake and long lunches.

Someamongus passed on a link about how asian characters are portayed in cinema and mass media - I dug up Margaret Cho's take on it, and she raises some interesting humorous points. Her comparison to blackface at the end stands out for me - I've had to start questioning if I equate my own crappy ingrained racial prejudices equally across all minorities.

There is a sense of the invisibility of Asians, particularly 'Oriental' characters, in media today.
I heard somewhere that part of Rob's Marshall's rebuttal to the attack on him for using a Chinese actress to portray a Japanese Geisha in Memoirs... (which I'm going to see tonight, although Ian doesn't know yet) is that he cast Queen Latifa in the role of Mama Morton in Chicago, at a time when there were no black prison wardens, because she so embodied the role that he felt she had to play it. Also, I saw somewhere that Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls were meant to be figments of her imagination, hence, they didn't speak. Apparently interviewers would ask her about them, while they sat behind her, and she would be like, 'what girls? where?'
And I say fair enough to both points, to both circumstances. Doesn't change the fact that the closest thing we have to a household Indian character is Apu. And it doesn't make it okay that everyone seems so surprised that Sayid in Lost would be the Republican Guard soldier with the heart of gold. The closer you look at Middle Eastern and Far Eastern characters in mass media (let's face it, American media) the more diluted these characters seem to become. The casting people on Lost hired an British actor to play the Iraqi Sayid.

Is it wrong? Is it really justifiable? Sure, the guy's got a six-pack you could grate cheese on, but doesn't it make his portrayal of his character's back story seem thin? But isn't that what acting is - telling stories, being part of a story where you enact the emotions and responses of a character different to your own life, your own personality?

Yeah, I've lost myself here... 'Lost', eh. Chuckle. It bears considering, even if the answers don't present themselves.
I'll let you know what I think of the movie, having just finished the novel. I'll probably spend the whole time looking for bits they've left out.

The trip home in February cannot come quickly enough. I view everything in this 'soon I'll be back in SA' frame - you know I love London and I think I did the right thing by comnig here, I'm a happy bunny; but I miss home terribly terribly much. Winter has a lot to do with it.

Phone calls to home only serve to make it harder for me right now. A close family friend's daughter is going to start her first year in Rhodes this year and I'm so so excited for her. I'm hoping to catch up with Bennifer, which would be just amazing, I know it! I'm going to party with all my awesome MeSkanky friends again, actually get to meet Candice, I get to restock on essential Saffer things (Like Silk eye-makeup remover, yes please!), soak up some sun on my pale pale self, chill with the parentals, chill with the doggies, take some photos, hang with Putter. God I'm actually torturing myself a bit here!

As for the taking photos bit, I'm seriously considering investing in a digital camera of my very own before I leave. We'll see.

So it's over a month away, so I'm a bit obsessive like that. All I know is, that first Bosun's is going to taste like liquid paradise.

Ian, Laurika and I went to see Brokeback Mountain on Friday night - I could go on and on and on as I did to a co-worker this morning (my inner voice screaming STOP TALKING, as my mouth kept on moving) but I'll only say that all the hype about Heath Ledger's performance is completely true, and completely deserved. Yeah, I cried, as his last line lingered into a soft song ('He was a friend of mine') and I felt as though so many people must go through some form of extreme love tragedy, whatever orientation they may be.

Right now I'm reading Memoirs of a Geisha (so 2002 but hey) and looking forward to the movie version, although I've heard bad things. The book is really astounding, it's lovely to pick up absorbing fiction after a longer-than-expected re-read of Eats, Shoots and Leaves. I find myself dreaming of kimonos and long, elegant Japanese necks:

"When I looked up, Nobu was watching me. Guests all around him were laughing and enjoying themselves, and there he sat with his eyes fixed on me, as lost in his thoughts as I had been in mine. We were like two wet spots in the midst of burning charcoal."

Resolutions. Meh. I’ve made some for 2006. But like I told Ian, I’m not going to share them with you; then if I don’t stick, no one will be the wiser *rubs hands together*. Yes, I leave escape clauses in my New Year resolutions. I like them holey.

What a crap way to start the year though. The pub Ian and I were due to go to was closed (Freaks! We want to give you our money! Why are you not open!) and so we spent the evening doing what we’ve done plenty of times in the past – got drunk at home! Except this time it was on really expensive champagne! Two glasses, floor!

But the weekend had started with a plop the night before anyway – while at the bowling alley, about to buy a pitcher o’ beer, moi discovered that moi’s wallet was gone.
It’s not so much the bank cards, not so much the driver’s license. It’s more the cut-out heart shaped photo with sweet sentiments from my crazy German friend, more the ‘I Heart the 70s’ card from the company Christmas party, more the US quarter my brother-in-law gave me when I first met him, more the business cards stained with beer from playing Sovereign. More the fact that I DON’T LOSE THINGS (yeah, I was pretty wrong about that one).

So home, and drinking with Ian on New Years Eve – moi then loses something else. ALL MOTOR FUNCTION. I managed to knock over a freshly poured Carling all over the playing cards and then actually knocked the glass again, rooolllling it around so the remaining beer spilt all over me. Nice.
New Year’s day was spent trying to look nonchalant about the fact that I kept bumping my champers and orange, spilling little bits onto my pajamas. And whilst washing said pajamas, moi also managed to throw Ian’s lovely black Moto RAZR into the machine.

So I cost myself big time this weekend. Lost my sweet wallet that looked like the bum of a pair of jeans. Lost my capacity to hold a glass of booze (in my hand, not my stomach). Lost the cost of Ian’s insurance excess.

Let’s go 2006!